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reach the residents
● ● ● REACH THE RESIDENTS
For any questions you want to ask Viveca or Degar and receive an IC response, please direct them here. Please indicate in the subject line who you are trying to contact.
// VIVECA
Hi, what can I help you with?
// DEGAR
Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you. And by now, you should've somehow realized what you're not to do.
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No, [ she says, and imagines he won't be surprised by the answer, either. ] For as long as Degar is here, I'm tied to the station. [ she doesn't elaborate, but she does add, after a pause, ] And even if I wasn't... I'd stay, anyway. I promised him, once — we'd do this together, or not at all. I'm not going to walk back on that.
no subject
then: ）
I misunderstood his intentions, when first we met. I am willing to accept your judgment of him as being a good man, now. However...
（ he could phrase his question delicately. he could, but he won't. she doesn't expect it of him, and it would be disingenuous to try. ）
What happened to cause the Orb to fracture again, after your team retrieved it?
（ degar is concealing some manner of guilt, no matter how he hides it beneath quips and playful overtures. there is a deeper resonance there that itachi recognizes in him, and to a man as social as degar seems to be, self-imposed exile strikes him as a form of self-flagellation. ）
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If you intend to interrogate me in order to have something to blame him for, then I suggest you look elsewhere for a game partner. [ still sitting, she leans back a little, tilts her head, her curls falling over her shoulder. ]
I'll tell you this: he didn't have to stay. He could have left. Could have forgotten all of this, could have left the entire mess that none of us saw coming behind him... and he didn't. None of what happened was his fault. You have no idea what he's given up in order to save all the universes.
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You are always very quick to say I am conducting an interrogation. （ his tone's a bit dry, but he isn't offended — an uchiha's strength always lies in the depth of their bonds with others. he understands her feelings towards degar perhaps all too well. ） That being said — I imagine I am the last one to speak of blame, and I am not looking to place such a thing at his feet. My impression is that regardless of where the responsibility truly lies, he feels guilt over what occurred. I believe we can agree that guilt is not a necessary correlation with responsibility. My interest is more in ensuring such a thing does not occur again.
（ although, that raises an interesting ethical question of its own. if the orb is rebuilt, its deals fulfilled, is closing the door to future people making such amends to their lives truly the correct path? difficult to say. ）
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[ she breathes in, then out, and with it, her raised hackles go down; she doesn't need to breathe, of course, but it's a learned reflex that helps. she's always had a temper — she's just better at controlling it, nowadays. it rarely ever rises, except... well. itachi has likely pinpointed her trigger point. ]
What happened was something we had no way to stop. And we're working on a way, now. It may be something we'll need help with. [ she doesn't say whether she believes they'll be successful, even then — perhaps it's best. her tone isn't particularly optimistic. ]
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（ let it not be said he isn't dazzlingly cognizant of his own failings, at least.
it's easier with the others. there is a distance there that he can maintain, an act — even if it is not meant maliciously, or as a matter of manipulation. itachi, at the end of the day, does not have the knowledge or experience to simply be himself. truthfully, he is not even certain he has a self so much as a series of actions and reactions that are ingrained and codified.
but viveca, who knows his past, his life, his hopes and aspirations and actions... who has never asked him to justify or explain himself, and who does not mind sitting with him in the swaying grass to play chess, gets a version of him that is nearly nascent. clumsy and malformed, that struggles with authenticity not because he shies away from it, necessarily, but because he does not know how to bring it beyond the walls he built around himself.
like water cupped in his hands, his true intentions always seem to bleed away. ）
The situation with the Uchiha culminated as it did because I did not think to ask for — （ something flickers distantly in his expression. then, as steadily as if he had not paused at all: ） assistance.
（ kakashi had asked him, why he hadn't come to him. in all honesty, he had not considered it as a possibility, and was in fact mildly surprised to find kakashi considered them to have ever been close enough to warrant it. but if he had been honest, with himself, with his father, if he had dragged danzō before the hokage and shown him the stolen eye nested in his rotten skull, if he had ever stopped to think of sasuke as more than just an object to safeguard — ）
However, in my time here, I have come to recognize there is no merit in taking things on one's shoulders simply because you expect you can bear the weight. The same is true for both you and Degar. If I can assist either of you, I will. I wish to.
（ even if the orb can undo his regret, even if it does — it will not have changed the trajectory of his life, as he is now, a man who engineered his own death at the hands of a beloved sibling because he saw no other path. but he can still choose to be better than the adults that failed him as a child, and offer a hand that was never given to him. ）
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[ it's as much of an apology as she's going to give — but, with the way she gives him a wry smile, it is undeniably one. one constant in her life, since coming to the station and meeting degar, has been that he will be the last person to defend himself... and so that has been her task, self-appointed, but one she's held to since she first realised his true worth, started considering him a friend instead of a nuisance.
(she does not speak it, but it might not surprise itachi that once upon a time, her view of their now-commander had not much differed from his.)
through his speech, she keeps the sympathy out of her eyes; he doesn't speak in search of it, and she won't offer it out of turn. it isn't for her, to feel one way or another about it all — what matters is that he is learning, slowly, slowly. ]
Thank you, [ she says instead. ] Trust me, we don't intend to have a repeat of what happened back then. I don't know how much your help, or the help of anyone, is going to do... but if it does even a little, then it'll be worth it.
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（ how he manages to pack so much fond amusement into three little words is beyond anyone — even himself, perhaps. as with her statement not being apology, his is not forgiveness, but understanding. one of the things he likes about her is that she will defend those she cares for so fiercely. the will of fire is not unique to konoha, after all. ）
Then, all I ask is that you remember the offer stands.
（ he gestures to the board. ）
Now, if we may continue?
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I will. I promise.
[ it's said with a smile, but no less sincere for it.
and then, ] You were the one who made us pause! Honestly. [ with a laughing tone, she turns her attention back to the board. ]
no subject
I'll try to refrain from such interruptions in the future, then.
（ jokes... smiles... who even is this man. ）