reach the residents

[ximilian]

● ● ● REACH THE RESIDENTS

For any questions you want to ask Viveca or Degar and receive an IC response, please direct them here. Please indicate in the subject line who you are trying to contact.

// VIVECA

Hi, what can I help you with?

// DEGAR

Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you. And by now, you should've somehow realized what you're not to do.

▶ NAV

Comments

[vivecai]

[ some time after his conversation with degar, viveca comes to find him in person. ]

Bucky. [ she doesn't sound judgmental, to find him in the state he is... just sad — for him, and for sam. ]

Drinking more isn't going to make you feel better.

[restored]

[Oh hi, Karli Viveca. Welcome to a simulation of his hut in Wakanda.]

Working with what I've got here.

[Never mind that the bottle of whiskey he's got in hand now is next to useless. But he'd made his request (demand) for a reason.]

You ain't gonna give me what I want. So get me this instead.

[And if he happens to sound like he's pleading by the end of that, she's clearly hearing things!!]

[vivecai]

You know all I want is to help you.

[ but — not like this. not when the help he is asking for is something beyond what she can risk... or outright unhelpful. ]

Would Sam want you to sit here and drown yourself in drinking?

[restored]

Don't.

[It's practically a growl. But there's no actual heat behind it. Or at least, none that's really aimed at Viveca herself.]

You don't get to say shit like that to me. He ain't here, so what's it matter?

[vivecai]

That he's not here is exactly why I need to say "shit like that" to you.

[ the air quotes are there in her tone as she sits next to him. ] It matters because you care about him. It matters because doing this would disappoint him, and even if he's not here — do you really want to do that?

[ she sighs. ] Besides, what you're doing is hurting someone I really care about. [ him, she means, because all he's doing is hurting himself and she hates to see it. ]

[restored]

If he's got a problem with it, then he can come here and tell me.

[But rather than belabor the point, he ends up just leaning his head back against the side of the hut, staring up at the stars overhead. And for a long while, he stays silent. Just...looking. Until-]

We all came here to undo our regrets. [His voice is far more steady. Calmer, simply because he does actually care about Viveca in return. Her opinions matter to him, as does her advice.] Irony is, I'm pretty sure my biggest regret now is coming here in the first place.

[vivecai]

... I'm sorry, [ she says after a pause, hugging her knees to her chest. she'd tell him he isn't forced to stay; but she thinks if he had chosen to leave, they wouldn't be having this conversation now. ]

I know it's not easy to be here. Make connections with others, and know that the next morning when you wake, they might be gone. I know how that feels.

[restored]

[That...does actually bring him up short. Sure, it's not the first time he's thought about what happens after they leave. But at least they won't have the burden of those memories. The people left behind though-

He ends up shifting a little. Enough to drop an arm round her shoulders. It's not much of an offer of comfort, given everything else that's going on. But it's an attempt.]

It ain't him being gone that's the problem. It's knowing we won't remember any of this.

[And with the way he squeezes Viveca at those words, he hopes he's getting across that she's one of those parts he's going to hate forgetting about]

[vivecai]

[ she gives him a small smile at that — a smile that's tinged with sadness, an ever-present sorrow that she carries with her all the time, the memories of everyone who is gone, now. ]

I know, [ she repeats her words, sighing. ] I hated it too, when I was just a part of the team like you. I still hate it... but I also know why it's necessary.

[restored]

Shouldn't be necessary. Sam's- [Don't mind him if his voice breaks a little over his name.] -the most trustworthy guy you'll ever meet. He wouldn't tell anyone about this place. Neither of us would.

[Being able to share memories of the Ximilia though. That's the part that matters to him. It's something that wouldn't need to be shared beyond the two of them. So it makes no sense to him why they wouldn't be allowed to keep those memories when they return home.]

Why can't we just remember?

[vivecai]

[ only barely, she manages to not repeat i know for the third time in a row, instead nodding to his words; sam can be trusted. of course he can.

but — ]

Undoing your regrets winds the time, branches off a different timeline... and as time rewinds, so go your memories. It wouldn't be a life if you lived it knowing what was coming.

But I assume you're not asking about that, but rather why Degar and I don't recommend anyone to try and keep their memories. I think you know better than most what kind of beings there are in the universes. I know I can trust those here to not abuse their knowledge of the orbs — but what if there's another Thanos? What if there's someone worse, who can pick thoughts from your head, without your permission or knowledge?

[ and there are people like that, even now, among the team. it is too much of a risk. as long as no one out there remembers the orbs... they are safe. ]

[restored]

[He's quiet for a while as he processes her words. As he pieces together just what that really means for him when he returns. For Sam, now he's gone. As much as he'd like to push his point here though, to fight against what she's saying, Viveca's been nothing but a friend to him from the start. So he knows, however much he might not like it, that she's only trying to help.]

He didn't undo his regret. Means he didn't create a new timeline.

[Which also means there's a version of himself there, currently taking up residence on the Wilson's couch. Someone that isn't him anymore.]

I came here to die. [Well, in a way. But there was only one way to keep him from ever being the Winter Soldier, and the orbs had given him that option.] He gave me a reason to live. And now you're telling me that it's too dangerous for him to know that.

[His arm lifts from Viveca's shoulders at that, but only to he can rub his face with both hands. An attempt to ease out the headache that he knows is on the way.]

He's got a life, with a version of me to watch his six for him. [A pause as he takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before-] Don't think there's a place for me back there anymore. Not when I know what I've got to give up to go back.

[vivecai]

... I can store a message for him, from you, if you'd like. To send to him once your time here is done.

[ it's dangerous, too — but less so than retaining memories. and if it will ease his mind, being able to tell sam just how much he affected him...

viveca sighs. ]

But you've got a different place waiting for you. One where you'll find you'll belong, too. You're not going to die, anymore, and once your regret is fixed — you will start a new timeline. And on that timeline, there are people who will need you.