You are aware of my tendencies to be a poor conversationalist.
๏ผ let it not be said he isn't dazzlingly cognizant of his own failings, at least.
it's easier with the others. there is a distance there that he can maintain, an act — even if it is not meant maliciously, or as a matter of manipulation. itachi, at the end of the day, does not have the knowledge or experience to simply be himself. truthfully, he is not even certain he has a self so much as a series of actions and reactions that are ingrained and codified.
but viveca, who knows his past, his life, his hopes and aspirations and actions... who has never asked him to justify or explain himself, and who does not mind sitting with him in the swaying grass to play chess, gets a version of him that is nearly nascent. clumsy and malformed, that struggles with authenticity not because he shies away from it, necessarily, but because he does not know how to bring it beyond the walls he built around himself.
like water cupped in his hands, his true intentions always seem to bleed away. ๏ผ
The situation with the Uchiha culminated as it did because I did not think to ask for — ๏ผ something flickers distantly in his expression. then, as steadily as if he had not paused at all: ๏ผ assistance.
๏ผ kakashi had asked him, why he hadn't come to him. in all honesty, he had not considered it as a possibility, and was in fact mildly surprised to find kakashi considered them to have ever been close enough to warrant it. but if he had been honest, with himself, with his father, if he had dragged danzล before the hokage and shown him the stolen eye nested in his rotten skull, if he had ever stopped to think of sasuke as more than just an object to safeguard — ๏ผ
However, in my time here, I have come to recognize there is no merit in taking things on one's shoulders simply because you expect you can bear the weight. The same is true for both you and Degar. If I can assist either of you, I will. I wish to.
๏ผ even if the orb can undo his regret, even if it does — it will not have changed the trajectory of his life, as he is now, a man who engineered his own death at the hands of a beloved sibling because he saw no other path. but he can still choose to be better than the adults that failed him as a child, and offer a hand that was never given to him. ๏ผ
no subject
๏ผ let it not be said he isn't dazzlingly cognizant of his own failings, at least.
it's easier with the others. there is a distance there that he can maintain, an act — even if it is not meant maliciously, or as a matter of manipulation. itachi, at the end of the day, does not have the knowledge or experience to simply be himself. truthfully, he is not even certain he has a self so much as a series of actions and reactions that are ingrained and codified.
but viveca, who knows his past, his life, his hopes and aspirations and actions... who has never asked him to justify or explain himself, and who does not mind sitting with him in the swaying grass to play chess, gets a version of him that is nearly nascent. clumsy and malformed, that struggles with authenticity not because he shies away from it, necessarily, but because he does not know how to bring it beyond the walls he built around himself.
like water cupped in his hands, his true intentions always seem to bleed away. ๏ผ
The situation with the Uchiha culminated as it did because I did not think to ask for — ๏ผ something flickers distantly in his expression. then, as steadily as if he had not paused at all: ๏ผ assistance.
๏ผ kakashi had asked him, why he hadn't come to him. in all honesty, he had not considered it as a possibility, and was in fact mildly surprised to find kakashi considered them to have ever been close enough to warrant it. but if he had been honest, with himself, with his father, if he had dragged danzล before the hokage and shown him the stolen eye nested in his rotten skull, if he had ever stopped to think of sasuke as more than just an object to safeguard — ๏ผ
However, in my time here, I have come to recognize there is no merit in taking things on one's shoulders simply because you expect you can bear the weight. The same is true for both you and Degar. If I can assist either of you, I will. I wish to.
๏ผ even if the orb can undo his regret, even if it does — it will not have changed the trajectory of his life, as he is now, a man who engineered his own death at the hands of a beloved sibling because he saw no other path. but he can still choose to be better than the adults that failed him as a child, and offer a hand that was never given to him. ๏ผ